I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
