don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
