that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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