Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
