You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
