1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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