bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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