My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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