Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
