two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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