Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
