and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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