which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
