I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
