i jhust puked up my retainher.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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