sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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