hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How's work?
Spinning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
