I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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