I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
