We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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