So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
