I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize