theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
