How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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