.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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