I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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