Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
