Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize