...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Randomize
