I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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