Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
