i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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