i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
