I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
