I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
