A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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