I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
