This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
