Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
