id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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