plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
