if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
