You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Send help, water and tortillas.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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