some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
