Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were destined to go to rehab together
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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