i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize