i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
