You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
