she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize