Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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