Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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