i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
