First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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