as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize