he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
