My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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