dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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