Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
