Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Boobs are out for the taking
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
