haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
