everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
