Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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