I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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