I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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