i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
