She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize