Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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