My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
