I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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