A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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